5 Minutes, 5 Questions With… Stephanie Small, author of Don’t Let The White Girl Win: Dating, Relationship & Self-Help For Single Sisters

JoeyPinkney.com Exclusive Interview
5 Minutes, 5 Questions With…
Stephanie Small, author of Don’t Let The White Girl Win: Dating, Relationship & Self-Help For Single Sisters
(2S Publishing)



There’s a battle brewing for the hearts of black men, who will win? The answers are broken down between the pages of this how-to guide in 5 basic steps. Without apology, Small reveals to single sisters everywhere why the “other” girl is making sweet love to the brothers who should be their boyfriends, while 47% of black women will never wear a wedding dress.

Using the FIVE B’S for Becoming a Better Black Woman, Small rescues single sisters from dating doom by outlining the emotional and psychological challenges that they must overcome to be at their best. Like the strictest drill sergeant or a tough love sister-friend, the author instructs black women on how to:

• overcome angry black woman BIAS
• fight BRAINWASHING that has resulted in self-hate
• Maximize black BEAUTY as a strategic asset
• release and unload emotional BAGGAGE
• be mentally, physically and emotionally BETTER

Best described as a relationship boot-camp guide for black women, the book is part memoir, part satire and humorous cultural analysis. The guide, although unconventional and irreverent, succeeds in giving black women the one thing they need: strategies for winning at love, life and everything in between.

Joey Pinkney: Where did you get the inspiration to write “Don’t Let The White Girl Win: Dating, Relationship & Self-Help For Single Sisters”?

Stephanie Small: My inspiration comes from wanting to help black women succeed and win..at everything.

Interracial dating is at an all-time high, and black women are being selected to wear the diamond ring less and less. Using my life and the experiences of multiple women that I’ve met, I knew that black women were not at their emotional, physical and psychological best. Unresolved issues pertaining to broken hearts and failed relationships were mostly to blame.

With the harsh statistic of 47% of black women predicted to never wear a wedding dress hanging over our heads, I thought something needed to be done and quick. As a coach, counselor and training strategist, I applied my skills, experience and knowledge to turnings things around.

“Don’t Let the White Girl Win” is openly controversial. It uses white women as an analogy for anything black women perceive as an obstacle to their happiness.

JP: What sets “Don’t Let The White Girl Win: Dating, Relationship & Self-Help For Single Sisters” apart from other books in the same genre?

SS: Unlike self-help books from the past, “Don’t Let the White Girl Win” applies strategy, technique and uses grassroots behavioral modification to effect change. The book is harsh and humbling. It doesn’t shy away from the tough questions or topics. It’s honest, raw and addresses all the well-known as well as hidden issues lingering in the hearts and minds of women of color that other books are afraid to address.

The guide uses laughter to soften the sting of truth but leaves the PC Police at the front door fighting to get in. Unlike other books, my boot camp guide for black women promises what other books can’t: that after a controversial and comical read that single sisters looking for love will cross the finish line first.

Lightly influenced by famous books like “The Art of War” and “The Art of Seduction, the premise behind “Don’t Let The White Girl Win”, is that the “other” girl isn’t the cause of black women’s dating challenges. She’s the competition. If we want love, we have to fight to win.

JP: As an author, what are the keys to your success that led to “Don’t Let The White Girl Win: Dating, Relationship & Self-Help For Single Sisters” getting out to the public?

SS: Here are the keys to my success:

  • Word-of-mouth
  • Positive reviews
  • Feedback from Readers
  • Social Media Mentions

JP: As an author, what is your writing process? How long did it take you to start and finish “Don’t Let The White Girl Win: Dating, Relationship & Self-Help For Single Sisters”?

SS: I write my books in segments. They don’t follow any pattern. I write whatever section or segment appeals to me in the moment. Later, I put them all together to form a cohesive manuscript. “Don’t Let The White Girl Win” took me a little over a year from start to finish to complete.

JP: What’s next for Stephanie Small?

SS: I’m known as the Super Sistah in the blogosphere (www.thesupersistah.com). Most of my writing revolves around encouraging women to be at their best. I generally write about topics that effect women like myself. I ask questions and suggest solutions. “Don’t Let The White Girl Win” has a “Super Sistah Success Guide” sub-title. This means there will be other guides focused on the topic of success and personal improvement in the future.

I’m working on another book as we speak. I also have two blogtalkradio interviews scheduled for Black History Month right around Valentine’s Day, so stay tuned.






Despite what some may consider the scary title of the book, “Don’t Let The White Girl Win” isn’t about hate or intolerance. It’s about how black women can improve their lives.

There is more to some books besides there outrageous covers. I urge readers who are both curious and furious about the title to read the contents and discover the truth for themselves.

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