Folake Taylor’s The Only Way is Up: The Journey of an Immigrant gives interesting perspectives on various topics from a woman who is not native to America but is well versed in American culture. Born in Nigeria, raised in the U.K. and living in the U.S., Folake Taylor’s viewpoint on things such as being a Christian, obtaining and maintaining a healthy weight, and the positive effects of traveling around the world, comes from the wisdom of experiencing different cultures up close and personal. This can be very relevant to the American reader seeking to gain a better understanding of what can be achieved in life in on American soil.

What makes Taylor’s book a powerful document is that the author gives her personal blueprint to a life filled with more success and less stress. Taylor moved to the US from the UK and went on to become an MD by staying true to God, being patient and being persistent. If the reader is seeking solutions to getting out of a rut or confirmation that they are going in the right direction, this book is perfect. If the reader is not looking to change, this book may quickly become boring unless you like reading a good story.

A lot of the things Taylor discusses are not groundbreaking, and she explains that early in The Only Way Is Up. With a great editor, this book can really take off. What holds The Only Way is Up back small things like sentence structure and concise idea flow. One funny mistake in this book is a section where Taylor speaks about the probability that a female will marry a professional athlete. For her example, she makes the point that it’s unlikely that any person will easily marry a professional basketball player. Instead of using NBA, she uses MBA. The first time I thought, “Maybe she’s saying that a person is unlikely to find a mate that has a Master’s in Business Administration.” The second time she used MBA in the context of an NBA player, I couldn’t help but shake my head and giggle at the medical-doctor-turned-author. It is like when my wise mother talks about cell phone technology, just as cute as it is wrong.

What makes The Only Way is Up such an easy read is Taylor’s voice. I didn’t feel like I was sitting in a creaky, wooden desk while Taylor points at me with a ruler telling what’s wrong with me and what’s right with her. Instead, I felt like Taylor was sitting on the couch with me sharing her wisdom. When she shares her experience with motherhood, I didn’t feel like she was trying to teach me anything. Instead, I learned from Taylor as she expressed the joys and challenges of raising her beautiful daughter. Although I’m a married man, Taylor’s advice on being a single woman and finding a potential husband was very enlightening. During this section and the one about her childhood in Nigeria and the U.K., Taylor gives a glimpse into the possibilities of growing up outside of the U.S. Those same recollections of her past also serve to show how the difference in environment and experiences leads to a different outlook from the average American reader.

Although Taylor’s parents are both highly-educated, well-traveled professors and Taylor is well-travelled, her life is not without struggles and trials. What sets her The Only Way is Up apart from other books in its genre is she does not focus on the negativity of her struggle as an immigrant or as a person of color. Instead, those trials and tribulations are points of reflection for betterment. There is a point in the book where she discusses her life principles. The one about knowing one’s history stood out. Although self-explanatory, her reasoning for you learning about your history and knowing your place in it were eye-opening when put in the proper context: a Black woman of Nigerian and English descent actively learning about African-American history to help her better understand the struggles and some of the problems that Black people go through in America.

A great way to know who you are as a person and to better understand your culture is to travel to another country. Many times, Americans in general and African-Americans specifically, can not see the forest for the trees in terms of their place in the world. We can not see the barriers we set in front of ourselves because of being wrapped up in our day-to-day activities. The beauty of reading The Only Way is Up is being able to read about the experiences and perspectives of a person who is not from here. Taylor has a way of ebbing and flowing between reminiscing and advising that blends so well together that the reader might get wrapped up in the literary ride and learn a thing or two.

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You can’t beat it: nun in a dress in her quarterback stance with football cocked back! I had to show my wife, my colleague, my co-workers: anybody I knew would laugh either with me or at me…

As I dug deeper, I found even more interesting stuff going on with this publishing company. In an effort to make a collective effort to promote the work of authors of all levels of popularity, Hail Mary Publishing has various projects in place that make the publishing company and the authors equally active in the process.

http://www.hailmarypublishing.com/index.html

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When you listen to this interview, keep in mind that it takes more than a two-year-old hopping in my lap begging for candy or a storm in New York to stop me from making my segment a success!

Towards the end, Don kicks a poem for me. That inspired me, and I had to share my poetic inclinations. You’ll get a sneak peak at the poem that can be found at the end of my short story “Like Father, Like Son” from the anthology The Soul Of A Man.

Please leave a comment below and let me now what you think about the interview.

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At age 9 Jiwe’s mother, battling a drug addiction, sent him far away to live with relatives. Two years later, the streets finally forced him to commit his first drive by, initiating him into a hellish life of gang bangin’. By age 25, while sitting in a jail cell fighting a charge of attempted murder, and awaiting the birth of his first child, Jiwe had enough. He began penning his memoir as a form of personal therapy, as a way to warn parents, and as a way educate society why food, shelter, and clothing are not enough to keep our kids from the clutches of the streets.

Joey Pinkney: Where did you get the idea and inspiration to write War of the Bloods in My Veins?

Dashaun Jiwe Morris: The inspiration came from me sitting in a prison cell with the idea of having to raise my daughter from behind that wall. Sitting in isolation gave me the time I needed to really take a look at my life. It allowed me to dig deep and focus on where I had been, where I was and where I wanted to go. And one thing was for certain, I wasn’t trying to raise my daughter while in prison.

JP: What sets your story apart from other memoirs written by gang members making a change for the better?

DJM: I just think I was able to capture more of the emotional toll gang life has on us. I didn’t focus much on the war stories as much as the psychological tear it had on me. I wanted to put a human face to the guy behind the gun and bandana. I wanted to talk directly to the YG’s still out there lost and hopeless, and I wanted to speak directly to the women that are raising them.

JP: As an author, what are the keys to your success that lead to War of the Bloods in My Veins getting out to the public?

DJM: The key to my success was taking a chance. I stepped out and spoke on my pain. I invited specific people into my life in return for healing. I did what I think most who come from where I come from fear doing: change.

JP: Gangs are very close knit and secretive. How are you able to explore and explain your life without backlash from the Bloods?

DJM: First off, I got permission from my elders to speak. But secondly, that’s a silly stereotype homie. That is so 70′s and 80′s back when Bloods and Crips were relatively new. Its nothing going in in gang life now that the world or the powers to be don’t know about. I didn’t talk about things like how operations were ran or the list of OG’s top to bottom. I spoke on my life, myself and what I’ve been through. No different than how rappers and singers express and speak on their pain and life stories in their lyrics.  I just did it in the form of a book. Plus, I’m well respected around this country. So many of my peers, elders and youngsters are proud of what I was able to do. Just know many of us want a better life.

JP: What’s next for Dashaun Jiwe Morris?

DJM: I’ve already begun to work on my second book. It’s part two to War of the Bloods in my veins. I have a documentary I’m featured in coming out on the Sundance Channel in September of 2009 produced by Forest Whitaker, Marc Levin, and Mark Benjamin. Its a six-part 30 minutes series exploring the challenges of my city, Newark, NJ. Lastly, I have a movie option in place as we speak. Marc Levin will direct the movie to my book, so that will be set to hit theaters in 2010. I’ve been pretty busy with traveling and speaking. I’m thankful and blessed to have the opportunity to give back and make some positive change in my life.

http://JiweEra.com
warofthebloods@jiweera.com

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For Tanya White: Some people are addicted to drama-filled relationships, and they don’t even know they are.  Does your book address how to recognize if a person is co-dependent to toxic relationships?

Tanya White: Yes. In my book Relationship Reruns, I address the 20 keys to finding “R-E-S-T” from toxic relationship messes such both parties showing respect, encouragement, steadfastness and trustworthiness. For an explanation of the other 16 keys, read Episode 9 of Relationship Reruns.

For Dedan Tolbert: What topic would you say people in relationships have the hardest time discussing: money or sex?

Dedan Tolbert: Both topics have the potential to be the source of a great deal of conflict. It doesn’t have to be this way though. The foundation of all relationships needs to be communication and honesty. If you have these two things, you will rarely “argue” about anything. Money and Sex can be topics that two people can disagree about because of their sensitive nature. If you communicate effectively, they shouldn’t be a problem.

Women need to remember that men have sensitive egos about money as well as sex. When it comes to sex, all men want to believe that they are the best partner their mate has ever had, and she is 100% satisfied. To find out that’s not the case can be devastating for some men and cause them to not want to do it at all.

Money is a similar subject. Men want to be the breadwinners in the home. If they’re not, they at least want to feel like they are. As far as bills are concerned, there needs to be a conversation about who’s going to pay for what, so that when the bills come there aren’t any surprises.

Without good communication and honestly, the smallest of problems can turn into huge disputes in the home.

For Cassandra Washington: If you were to take all your topics into consideration and only choose one, what would you say is the biggest misconception men have about women?  And why?

The biggest misconception about women is that they are complicated creatures. This is completely false. Every woman, no matter what type of woman she is, from earthy to high-maintenance to mellow, from rich to poor, doesn’t matter, they all want the same thing: some “Act-Right”.

What is “Act-Right” you ask? It’s simple. It’s saying what you mean, meaning what you say and doing what you said you were going to do. Plain and simple. At the end of the day, we want some Act-Right. If you give it to us, you’ll get everything your heart desires and the most peace your existence can enjoy.

Asking for “Act-Right” is not being petty or ridiculous. When you think about it, it’s directly correlated to honesty. If you say you love someone and don’t mean it, that’s a lie. Right? If you say you’re going to call at six that night, but know you probably won’t call until you get back from the club at three the next morning, that’s a lie. And no one wants a liar, right? Right.

For Big Boom: Some women feel they can change a man. In your opinion, can a sucka be reformed? Does your book address that possibility?

Big Boom: No, a woman can not change a man! She might think that he’s a changed man, but the moment you make him mad he will go back to being the same old person. If you let him change himself, he probably would ask God to help him. You will at least end up with a man that is trying.

Can a sucka be reformed? Yes, when he finds out after all this time being a sucka has no value. It’s many ways for a man to change. What I found that works best for me was prayer. I address that in my first book, ” IF YOU WANT CLOSURE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP START WITH YOUR LEGS”.

Sun 02-15-09 Do you have to be a freak to enjoy great sex?

Mon 02-16-09 Is sex overrated?

Tue 02-17-09 When should men draw the line in role playing?

Wed 02-18-09 Why do men really cheat?

Thu 02-19-09 Why do I date the same people over and over?

Fri 02-20-09 Why are men challenged by their perineal G-spot?

Sat 02-21-09 Do I tell my friend she’s dating a married man?

Sun 02-22-09 How do I tell my husband I’m sexually frustrated without hurting his feelings?

Mon 02-23-09 Would more racial boundaries break if more people dated interacially?

Tue 02-24-09 How do I cope with not trusting my girfriend after catching her with another woman?

Wed 02-25-09 How do I get my boyfriend of 8 yrs to understand my desire to marry him with losing him?

Thu 02-26-09 How do I cope with my boyfriend sending me mixed messages?

Fri 02-27-09 I fell in love with my best friend’s wife. What should I do?

Sat 02-28-09 Each author gets a special question just for him or her.

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I fell in love with my best friend’s wife. I think she likes me, too. I’m single and don’t want to ruin my relationship or their marriage. But the attraction is overwhelming. What should I do?

Cassandra Washington: This is no doubt a sticky situation and one that should be avoided at all costs. I have to question if that is really your best friend if you have fallen for his wife. True friends don’t do that, to be quite honest with you. In any case, you’ve fallen, so now it’s time to deal with the heart of the matter: this union will never work, even if it works. This means that if she does leave her husband for you, she will never truly be yours.

The cycle can very well continue, and you to be the one that’s left hanging in the future. Why even waste your time or risk your friendship for a situation that is doomed to fail from the beginning? At the end of the day, you are going to do what you want to do. However, if you go with your mind and not your head, I’m sure you will do the right thing.

Big Boom: Get ready to die! And go to hell! It’s too many single women in this world for you to break up someone’s home.

Dedan Tolbert: If this man is truly your best friend, you need to end this relationship with his wife immediately. No friendship is worth ruing over something that’s just an attraction. You said you fell in love, so this sounds like it’s more than just an attraction.

You may want to remove yourself from the situation all together. Stop going to family get-togethers and cookouts where you know you’ll be around her. That will only cause trouble and lead to temptation. If you want to preserve the friendship, I wouldn’t recommend telling your friend about this affair… Sometimes its best to just walk away.

Tanya White: NOTHING! Married people are off limits no matter how much the marriage is in jeopardy. Your attraction, while valid, may be temporary due to other feelings such as loneliness, loss, etc.

No matter what the wife’s feelings are towards you are, you seriously need to distance yourself from that couple until you conquer these inappropriate feelings towards your best friend’s wife.

Sun 02-15-09 Do you have to be a freak to enjoy great sex?

Mon 02-16-09 Is sex overrated?

Tue 02-17-09 When should men draw the line in role playing?

Wed 02-18-09 Why do men really cheat?

Thu 02-19-09 Why do I date the same people over and over?

Fri 02-20-09 Why are men challenged by their perineal G-spot?

Sat 02-21-09 Do I tell my friend she’s dating a married man?

Sun 02-22-09 How do I tell my husband I’m sexually frustrated without hurting his feelings?

Mon 02-23-09 Would more racial boundaries break if more people dated interacially?

Tue 02-24-09 How do I cope with not trusting my girfriend after catching her with another woman?

Wed 02-25-09 How do I get my boyfriend of 8 yrs to understand my desire to marry him with losing him?

Thu 02-26-09 How do I cope with my boyfriend sending me mixed messages?

Fri 02-27-09 I fell in love with my best friend’s wife. What should I do?

Sat 02-28-09 Each author gets a special question just for him or her.

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I broke up with my ex-boyfriend months ago. I told him to leave me alone, so I can heal. He texts me all the time saying, “I didn’t want to mislead you. You are not the one for me.” But he also texts, “I miss you. I want you here so bad. Can we get together.” I still love him, but I don’t need the hurt and pain. What should I do?

Dedan Tolbert: Your ex-boyfriend’s hurtful text messages/letters/voicemails etc…were coming from the emotional part of his personality that’s having a hard time dealing with your break up. Men are typically looked at as the strong ones in relationships but that doesn’t mean that we don’t have feelings. Breaking up hurts both people involved. Some people deal with break ups better than others. Sometimes, women do things like break car windows… Sometimes, men write hurtful letters. These are all unhealthy ways to deal with heartbreak.

The fact that he’s sending you completely opposite messages saying I miss you and I love you is because his heart is conflicted. I usually advise couples who are recently broken up to refrain from any contact for a while because everything is still fresh, and that’s when the unhealthy behavior is most likely to occur.

What you need to do is remember why the two of your broke up in the first place. If the reasons are so bad that you know you can’t be happy with him again, you need to walk away for good. If you think your problems are fixable, then give it a try with a clean slate. You can’t be happy in the future if you continue to constantly bring up the problems from your past. Forgive each other once and for all and then move on so you can truly be happy.

Cassandra Washington: You should stop retaining in your memory the texts you want to read, and retain the texts that pain you to the core such as: “You are not the one for me”. All that “I miss you” and “Can we get together” is simply “I’m horny, can I get some?” Please don’t confuse it for anything more that what it is. If you do, you must not be too tired of the hurt and pain he has already put you through because you obviously want more of it, to put it simple and plain.

Tanya White: It sounds as though he wants to keep stringing you along until he finds a new love. If you really do not want to receive the texts, then delete them or block his number out so that you will not receive them. Contrary what society and the media have tricked us into believing, love does not hurt or cause pain. Love is freeing, respectful, unconditional and always wants the best for all parties involved.

Big Boom: Change your phone number and find something to do with your down time, put the love that you was giving him back into yourself and prepare for a new life.

Sun 02-15-09 Do you have to be a freak to enjoy great sex?

Mon 02-16-09 Is sex overrated?

Tue 02-17-09 When should men draw the line in role playing?

Wed 02-18-09 Why do men really cheat?

Thu 02-19-09 Why do I date the same people over and over?

Fri 02-20-09 Why are men challenged by their perineal G-spot?

Sat 02-21-09 Do I tell my friend she’s dating a married man?

Sun 02-22-09 How do I tell my husband I’m sexually frustrated without hurting his feelings?

Mon 02-23-09 Would more racial boundaries break if more people dated interacially?

Tue 02-24-09 How do I cope with not trusting my girfriend after catching her with another woman?

Wed 02-25-09 How do I get my boyfriend of 8 yrs to understand my desire to marry him with losing him?

Thu 02-26-09 How do I cope with my boyfriend sending me mixed messages?

Fri 02-27-09 I fell in love with my best friend’s wife. What should I do?

Sat 02-28-09 Each author gets a special question just for him or her.

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My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years. I want to get married, he’s not ready. How do I get him to understand how important marriage is to our relationship without risking losing him altogether?

Cassandra Washington: After 8 years, you have to wonder what is truly keeping him from making your union legal?  This is a discussion that most definitely needs to take place. Do not worry about it being the right place, or the right time, because quite frankly, if it’s been 8 years, obviously he’s uncomfortable with the idea of legal commitment, and therefore, any time the subject is brought up will make him sweat. Whenever you talk to him, be sure to not whine, beg, give ultimatums, or complain. Simply question the direction of your relationship, if he sees marriage in the near future, and if not, what is keeping him from that path? Eight years is a long time to dance around a subject, and an even longer time to find out that your bond is not moving forward, but in circles. So just go for it, and let the chips fall where they may.

Big Boom: You need to tell God and not him, some men want to be a life time boyfriend, If he wanted to marry you,  you would of been married 7 years ago. Because a man in love do not wait that long., because he cannot afford to lose you.

Tanya White: I get these scenarios all of the time.  If one party is not ready for the next level such as marriage there is literally nothing you can do to “make” him understand.  First, analyze why you really want to marry this person.  Even though you have been together for 8 years, you really have not been together for 8 years because you are not on the same page as to the future of the relationship.  Many times people confuse length of time with the longevity of success.  You need to be honest with yourself to see if the relationship has run its’ course.  Forcing or nagging your boyfriend into marriage may get you a wedding but not a healthy marriage and eventual divorce.

Dedan Tolbert: In this situation, your concern shouldn’t be about him. It needs to be about you and your happiness. If a man isn’t ready to marry you after eight years, he doesn’t want to get married… or at least not to you. Men who wait this long before really committing are playing some sort of game. Usually it means he’s still out there looking for the next best thing. You would be wise to give him a timetable or ultimatum. If you don’t you could find yourself alone after eight years with nothing to show for it.

Sun 02-15-09 Do you have to be a freak to enjoy great sex?

Mon 02-16-09 Is sex overrated?

Tue 02-17-09 When should men draw the line in role playing?

Wed 02-18-09 Why do men really cheat?

Thu 02-19-09 Why do I date the same people over and over?

Fri 02-20-09 Why are men challenged by their perineal G-spot?

Sat 02-21-09 Do I tell my friend she’s dating a married man?

Sun 02-22-09 How do I tell my husband I’m sexually frustrated without hurting his feelings?

Mon 02-23-09 Would more racial boundaries break if more people dated interacially?

Tue 02-24-09 How do I cope with not trusting my girfriend after catching her with another woman?

Wed 02-25-09 How do I get my boyfriend of 8 yrs to understand my desire to marry him with losing him?

Thu 02-26-09 How do I cope with my boyfriend sending me mixed messages?

Fri 02-27-09 I fell in love with my best friend’s wife. What should I do?

Sat 02-28-09 Each author gets a special question just for him or her.

This Post is Sponsored by:

Advertise with JoeyPinkney.com for just $20 (click here).

My girlfriend of seven months recently told me that she cheated on her last boyfriend twice with the female I thought was just her friend. She’s assured me that that’s a thing of the past, but she talks to and texts her best friend all the time. How do I cope with the feeling that there’s more than meets the eye?

Big Boom: There are 3 things you could do: 1. Have a three-some. 2. Be a fool. 3. End the relationship because you will never trust her.

Tanya White: I respect the fact that she confided her inappropriate behavior. You must trust your mate. She has done something specifically in the relationship which has made you doubt her trust then you two need to discuss it.  If you can not trust her then you are not going to have a healthy or fulfilling relationship.

Dedan Tolbert: With any relationship, there needs to be a certain level of trust. You can’t be with someone when you can’t be 100% sure what they’re telling you is the truth. In this situation, I would ask her one final time if her cheating ways are behind her. When she tells you that they are…leave it at that.

If down the line certain behavior raises red flags, you need confront her about it and come to a mutually beneficial resolution. If that’s not possible, then you have to ask yourself if that’s a situation you want to remain a part of.

Cassandra Washington: Trust is a big component of a lasting relationship. If there is no trust, there is no relationship, simple and plain. Before you allow your paranoia to get the best of you, simply have a discussion with your mate and express how you are feeling a bit unsure about the current situation.

Telling her to remove her best friend from her life is not an option . If this “best friend” is a lover as well, former or current, then it might not be that unreasonable. If she has anything to say about it, ask her to put the shoe on the other foot and see how she would feel then.

In any case, intuition is a gift given to you to protect your heart. When it starts knocking at your door, you better answer.

Sun 02-15-09 Do you have to be a freak to enjoy great sex?

Mon 02-16-09 Is sex overrated?

Tue 02-17-09 When should men draw the line in role playing?

Wed 02-18-09 Why do men really cheat?

Thu 02-19-09 Why do I date the same people over and over?

Fri 02-20-09 Why are men challenged by their perineal G-spot?

Sat 02-21-09 Do I tell my friend she’s dating a married man?

Sun 02-22-09 How do I tell my husband I’m sexually frustrated without hurting his feelings?

Mon 02-23-09 Would more racial boundaries break if more people dated interacially?

Tue 02-24-09 How do I cope with not trusting my girfriend after catching her with another woman?

Wed 02-25-09 How do I get my boyfriend of 8 yrs to understand my desire to marry him with losing him?

Thu 02-26-09 How do I cope with my boyfriend sending me mixed messages?

Fri 02-27-09 I fell in love with my best friend’s wife. What should I do?

Sat 02-28-09 Each author gets a special question just for him or her.

This Post is Sponsored by:

Advertise with JoeyPinkney.com for just $20 (click here).

Do you think more racial boundaries would break if more people were to date or marry interracially?

Tanya White: Yes, I believe that. The more diversity we see amongst marriages, communities and churches, then the more racial boundaries would diminish.

Dedan Tolbert: I think that many racial boundaries would be broken if people were more comfortable dating outside their race. I believe that men and women are more than justified in dating people of other races. No one should be put down or called derogatory terms like “sell out” for the choices they make when it comes to finding a mate. True love is hard enough to find without putting all types of stipulations on it.

When I see beautiful black women with white men, it doesn’t bother me at all especially if they look happy. I’m not going to hate on that white man. In fact, I’m going to give him props because he must be doing his thing to keep a beautiful black sister like that. If anything, seeing something like that would only motivate me to continue doing my thing and maybe even step my game up.

Cassandra Washington: Absolutely not. There are a lot of people dating and marrying interracially right now, and race is still an issue. As long as we are on this green earth, race will unfortunately be the elephant in the room because of the global society we live in. It’s a vicious cycle.

We have made waves and strides, but the struggle still continues. The problem just isn’t interracial. It’s within races as well. Light skin versus Dark skin, the issue is still here. It’s going to take a lot of effort for it to go away. Bottom line, people should love who they want to love and be with who they want to be with, regardless of race.

Big Boom: No, it could make it worst because some people can never get past the thought. However, interracial friends can actually help break the boundaries.

Sun 02-15-09 Do you have to be a freak to enjoy great sex?

Mon 02-16-09 Is sex overrated?

Tue 02-17-09 When should men draw the line in role playing?

Wed 02-18-09 Why do men really cheat?

Thu 02-19-09 Why do I date the same people over and over?

Fri 02-20-09 Why are men challenged by their perineal G-spot?

Sat 02-21-09 Do I tell my friend she’s dating a married man?

Sun 02-22-09 How do I tell my husband I’m sexually frustrated without hurting his feelings?

Mon 02-23-09 Would more racial boundaries break if more people dated interacially?

Tue 02-24-09 How do I cope with not trusting my girfriend after catching her with another woman?

Wed 02-25-09 How do I get my boyfriend of 8 yrs to understand my desire to marry him with losing him?

Thu 02-26-09 How do I cope with my boyfriend sending me mixed messages?

Fri 02-27-09 I fell in love with my best friend’s wife. What should I do?

Sat 02-28-09 Each author gets a special question just for him or her.

This Post is Sponsored by:

Advertise with JoeyPinkney.com for just $20 (click here).