Comments on: The 14 Days After Q&A: How do I get my boyfriend of 8 yrs to understand my desire to marry him with losing him? http://joeypinkney.com/criticism/the-14-days-after-qa-how-do-i-get-my-boyfriend-of-8-yrs-to-understand-my-desire-to-marry-him-with-losing-him.php Your Favorite Book Reviewer's Favorite Book Reviewer...Period! Tue, 07 Feb 2012 14:41:12 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Joey Pinkney » The 14 Days After Q&A: How do I cope with not trusting my girfriend after catching her with another woman? http://joeypinkney.com/criticism/the-14-days-after-qa-how-do-i-get-my-boyfriend-of-8-yrs-to-understand-my-desire-to-marry-him-with-losing-him.php/comment-page-1#comment-1577 Joey Pinkney » The 14 Days After Q&A: How do I cope with not trusting my girfriend after catching her with another woman? Mon, 06 Apr 2009 20:51:50 +0000 http://joeypinkney.com/?p=907#comment-1577 [...] Wed 02-25-09 How do I get my boyfriend of 8 yrs to understand my desire to marry him with losing him? [...] [...] Wed 02-25-09 How do I get my boyfriend of 8 yrs to understand my desire to marry him with losing him? [...]

]]> By: Teresa D. Patterson http://joeypinkney.com/criticism/the-14-days-after-qa-how-do-i-get-my-boyfriend-of-8-yrs-to-understand-my-desire-to-marry-him-with-losing-him.php/comment-page-1#comment-1462 Teresa D. Patterson Fri, 27 Feb 2009 00:47:34 +0000 http://joeypinkney.com/?p=907#comment-1462 I personally feel that anything worth having is worth waiting for. I know eight years is a long time. However; I have an aunt who waited for more than twenty-five years for her current husband to marry her. He finally did and they’ve been happy ever since for the past five years. I personally feel that anything worth having is worth waiting for. I know eight years is a long time. However; I have an aunt who waited for more than twenty-five years for her current husband to marry her. He finally did and they’ve been happy ever since for the past five years.

]]> By: Joey Pinkney http://joeypinkney.com/criticism/the-14-days-after-qa-how-do-i-get-my-boyfriend-of-8-yrs-to-understand-my-desire-to-marry-him-with-losing-him.php/comment-page-1#comment-1458 Joey Pinkney Thu, 26 Feb 2009 20:50:58 +0000 http://joeypinkney.com/?p=907#comment-1458 Bottom line: You're wasting your time. What are you losing? The chance to spend another 8 years? Add 10 years to that and you could have got married, had a kid and have that child gearing up for college. Get out of those circles like Cassandra said, unless you like that. Big Boom and Dedan are right. Your boyfriend would have married you a long time ago. Right now, you're convenient. Tanya is right. By the time you convince him to marry you, you'll probably be asking should you get a divorce 8 years down the road... Adrienna's comment is full of wisdom. The person asking this question is definitely one some "half-a-man" mentality. It's not easy to get what you want and need out of every relationship. There is definite rewards to starting a relationship with the foundation of knowing what both parties want. Thank you to all who came out to comment. Bottom line: You’re wasting your time. What are you losing? The chance to spend another 8 years? Add 10 years to that and you could have got married, had a kid and have that child gearing up for college.

Get out of those circles like Cassandra said, unless you like that. Big Boom and Dedan are right. Your boyfriend would have married you a long time ago. Right now, you’re convenient. Tanya is right. By the time you convince him to marry you, you’ll probably be asking should you get a divorce 8 years down the road…

Adrienna’s comment is full of wisdom. The person asking this question is definitely one some “half-a-man” mentality. It’s not easy to get what you want and need out of every relationship. There is definite rewards to starting a relationship with the foundation of knowing what both parties want.

Thank you to all who came out to comment.

]]> By: Sylvia http://joeypinkney.com/criticism/the-14-days-after-qa-how-do-i-get-my-boyfriend-of-8-yrs-to-understand-my-desire-to-marry-him-with-losing-him.php/comment-page-1#comment-1455 Sylvia Thu, 26 Feb 2009 09:37:56 +0000 http://joeypinkney.com/?p=907#comment-1455 You don't! My daddy always says, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. You're giving away the milk, honey, chile! Not just sex, but everything about yourself, so why should he marry you wehn he's getting the benefits of marriage without the ring. You either need to show him what's so great about marry you better or you need to just walk away and make him re-work and re-appreciate what he lost. Don't accept until you feel he's not being forced. YOu never want a man to feel forced. You want him to fall madly completely in love with you all over again. ranting from blogger How To Love A Black Woman http://loveablackwoman.com You don’t!

My daddy always says, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.

You’re giving away the milk, honey, chile!

Not just sex, but everything about yourself, so why should he marry you wehn he’s getting the benefits of marriage without the ring.

You either need to show him what’s so great about marry you better or you need to just walk away and make him re-work and re-appreciate what he lost. Don’t accept until you feel he’s not being forced. YOu never want a man to feel forced. You want him to fall madly completely in love with you all over again.

ranting from blogger How To Love A Black Woman
http://loveablackwoman.com

]]> By: Joey Pinkney » The 14 Days After Q&A: Do I tell my friend she’s dating a married man? http://joeypinkney.com/criticism/the-14-days-after-qa-how-do-i-get-my-boyfriend-of-8-yrs-to-understand-my-desire-to-marry-him-with-losing-him.php/comment-page-1#comment-1449 Joey Pinkney » The 14 Days After Q&A: Do I tell my friend she’s dating a married man? Thu, 26 Feb 2009 05:19:10 +0000 http://joeypinkney.com/?p=907#comment-1449 [...] Wed 02-25-09 How do I get my boyfriend of 8 yrs to understand my desire to marry him with losing him? [...] [...] Wed 02-25-09 How do I get my boyfriend of 8 yrs to understand my desire to marry him with losing him? [...]

]]> By: Joey Pinkney » The 14 Days After Q&A: Why are men challenged by their perineal G-spot? http://joeypinkney.com/criticism/the-14-days-after-qa-how-do-i-get-my-boyfriend-of-8-yrs-to-understand-my-desire-to-marry-him-with-losing-him.php/comment-page-1#comment-1448 Joey Pinkney » The 14 Days After Q&A: Why are men challenged by their perineal G-spot? Thu, 26 Feb 2009 05:18:40 +0000 http://joeypinkney.com/?p=907#comment-1448 [...] Wed 02-25-09 How do I get my boyfriend of 8 yrs to understand my desire to marry him with losing him? [...] [...] Wed 02-25-09 How do I get my boyfriend of 8 yrs to understand my desire to marry him with losing him? [...]

]]> By: Joey Pinkney » The 14 Days After Q&A: How do I cope with my boyfriend sending me mixed messages? http://joeypinkney.com/criticism/the-14-days-after-qa-how-do-i-get-my-boyfriend-of-8-yrs-to-understand-my-desire-to-marry-him-with-losing-him.php/comment-page-1#comment-1443 Joey Pinkney » The 14 Days After Q&A: How do I cope with my boyfriend sending me mixed messages? Thu, 26 Feb 2009 05:15:00 +0000 http://joeypinkney.com/?p=907#comment-1443 [...] Wed 02-25-09 How do I get my boyfriend of 8 yrs to understand my desire to marry him with losing him? [...] [...] Wed 02-25-09 How do I get my boyfriend of 8 yrs to understand my desire to marry him with losing him? [...]

]]> By: Adrienna Turner http://joeypinkney.com/criticism/the-14-days-after-qa-how-do-i-get-my-boyfriend-of-8-yrs-to-understand-my-desire-to-marry-him-with-losing-him.php/comment-page-1#comment-1437 Adrienna Turner Thu, 26 Feb 2009 00:09:16 +0000 http://joeypinkney.com/?p=907#comment-1437 Yes, Cassandra, I am waiting on God's best! We have to allow God to give us what He promised. I am sorry to hear that you were in a relationship that lead to proposal, and then turned him down. Today, not too many women get proposed to anymore and consider other living arrangements, which in some states are called "common-law marriages". Craziness of it all. Yet, I am glad that you knew what was best for you overall. Marriage is a sacred covenant between two people to become one (or oneness), and I want to make sure it is the man for me the first and only time! Not to wake up one morning, and say, "What the he.. is this? Who are you? Why are you laying next to me!" Yes, Cassandra, I am waiting on God’s best! We have to allow God to give us what He promised. I am sorry to hear that you were in a relationship that lead to proposal, and then turned him down. Today, not too many women get proposed to anymore and consider other living arrangements, which in some states are called “common-law marriages”. Craziness of it all. Yet, I am glad that you knew what was best for you overall.

Marriage is a sacred covenant between two people to become one (or oneness), and I want to make sure it is the man for me the first and only time! Not to wake up one morning, and say, “What the he.. is this? Who are you? Why are you laying next to me!”

]]> By: Priscilla San Remo http://joeypinkney.com/criticism/the-14-days-after-qa-how-do-i-get-my-boyfriend-of-8-yrs-to-understand-my-desire-to-marry-him-with-losing-him.php/comment-page-1#comment-1436 Priscilla San Remo Wed, 25 Feb 2009 23:47:36 +0000 http://joeypinkney.com/?p=907#comment-1436 I think you have two choices here: either realize he is not going to change and you are going to be a perpetual girlfriend or move on. You could always give him an ultimatum and see how he reacts. You just need to be ready to walk if he doesn't give you the answer you want. I see more and more women in this situation. What would motivate the guy to marry you, if he hasn't already? Eight years is too long--it's like you missed the window of opportunity to have this discussion. Ideally, I think it takes place about a year into a serious, exclusive relationship, although frankly, if you have to bring it up, it's probably a sign right there that it's not going to happen. It's a tough spot to be in. You don't want to bring it up too early in the dating process, for fear of scaring the guy off. But you don't want to waste your time dating someone if you ultimately want to be married and he never does. I'm not big into the whole "he's just not that into you thing," BUT I do believe a guy who won't get married after 8 years deep down thinks there's something better out there. We can say he's scared of getting divorced again, or he doesn't want to give up his bachelor quarters, whatever. A guy who wants to be with a woman will move mountains to do it, and there won't be any doubt about it. As for the rest, meh... I think you have two choices here: either realize he is not going to change and you are going to be a perpetual girlfriend or move on. You could always give him an ultimatum and see how he reacts. You just need to be ready to walk if he doesn’t give you the answer you want.

I see more and more women in this situation. What would motivate the guy to marry you, if he hasn’t already? Eight years is too long–it’s like you missed the window of opportunity to have this discussion. Ideally, I think it takes place about a year into a serious, exclusive relationship, although frankly, if you have to bring it up, it’s probably a sign right there that it’s not going to happen. It’s a tough spot to be in. You don’t want to bring it up too early in the dating process, for fear of scaring the guy off. But you don’t want to waste your time dating someone if you ultimately want to be married and he never does.

I’m not big into the whole “he’s just not that into you thing,” BUT I do believe a guy who won’t get married after 8 years deep down thinks there’s something better out there. We can say he’s scared of getting divorced again, or he doesn’t want to give up his bachelor quarters, whatever. A guy who wants to be with a woman will move mountains to do it, and there won’t be any doubt about it. As for the rest, meh…

]]> By: Linda Dominique Grosvenor http://joeypinkney.com/criticism/the-14-days-after-qa-how-do-i-get-my-boyfriend-of-8-yrs-to-understand-my-desire-to-marry-him-with-losing-him.php/comment-page-1#comment-1434 Linda Dominique Grosvenor Wed, 25 Feb 2009 21:39:39 +0000 http://joeypinkney.com/?p=907#comment-1434 Let me begin this by stating HE'S A COUNTERFEIT! A counterfeit looks like the real thing, talks like the real thing and may even smell like the real thing, but he's a cleverly disguised fake. Fact is you don't have to spend 8 years trying to convince a man that you are Mrs. Right. If you were the right one for him he wouldn't hesitate to scoop you up and whisk you into forever and brag to everybody he meets along the way. This man has wasted 8 years of YOUR life. At this point his feelings aren't important, if you lose him--good riddance to the dead weight. Something else to also consider is are YOU ready for marriage. When you're complete and whole and secure with yourself you won't allow men to come in, suck up your time and attention and give you tiny morsels in return. There is nothing worse than a woman or man willing to accept anything just to say that they have someone calling on a Friday night or leftovers from a dinner date in their fridge. Love you and it will set the precedence. If you say that you want marriage, don't allow anybody to string you along. For all you know you could have passed by Mr. Right waiting for this counterfeit to propose. It's time to free yourself and welcome your blessing Princess. Until you do this man that you're dead set on holding on to is just in the way. Let me begin this by stating HE’S A COUNTERFEIT! A counterfeit looks like the real thing, talks like the real thing and may even smell like the real thing, but he’s a cleverly disguised fake. Fact is you don’t have to spend 8 years trying to convince a man that you are Mrs. Right. If you were the right one for him he wouldn’t hesitate to scoop you up and whisk you into forever and brag to everybody he meets along the way. This man has wasted 8 years of YOUR life. At this point his feelings aren’t important, if you lose him–good riddance to the dead weight. Something else to also consider is are YOU ready for marriage. When you’re complete and whole and secure with yourself you won’t allow men to come in, suck up your time and attention and give you tiny morsels in return. There is nothing worse than a woman or man willing to accept anything just to say that they have someone calling on a Friday night or leftovers from a dinner date in their fridge. Love you and it will set the precedence. If you say that you want marriage, don’t allow anybody to string you along. For all you know you could have passed by Mr. Right waiting for this counterfeit to propose. It’s time to free yourself and welcome your blessing Princess. Until you do this man that you’re dead set on holding on to is just in the way.

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