JoeyPinkney.com Exclusive Interview
5 Minutes, 5 Questions With…
Nisaa Harper, editor of Confession of a Baby Mamma
(Pendium Publishing)
This book is an autobiography of a woman who has three children by two different men. This book talks about how boys and girls who were both raised without their fathers, turn in men and women who create children without attachments and with a lot of anger.
- If you want to know why your baby mama is always angry, read this book.
- If you want to establish consistent visitation with a father who is in and out with your child, read this book.
- If you have a child by a man who has many baby mama’s and there is always drama, and you want peace, read this book.
- If you still want to be with your baby daddy and he has moved on, and on, and on, then read this book.
- This book helps men and women explore their personal issues as it relates to their baby mama or baby daddy.
Joey Pinkney: Where did you get the idea and inspiration to write Confessions of a Baby Mama?
Nisaa Harper: I know alot of baby mama’s who fit the stereotype of “selfish, greedy and gold diggin” all the time. I know more baby mamas who are working and/or in school,. They are doing what they need to do legally for their kids. Unfortunately I know alot of women who work hard during the day and come home tired and stressed and cry at night. They are doing anything they can for their kids because daddy is long gone.
My sisters need to know they are worthy. I also read Karrine Steffans Confessions of a Video Vixen. The inspiration is myself and alot of other women I know or read about. This is the book I was looking for when I heard from my last two children’s father: “That’s your problem, and you need to take care of it”. This is what I was presented even though our son was our second child together.
He told me this even though he is a community activist, and I also work within the community in the social work field. The two of us teach others in the community about life skills. The the two of us experience this drama. What about those who don’t have a guide or anyone to refer to or listen to?
I had to write this book for my sisters who cried as much as I did during both pregnancies, my sisters who don’t know if they can make it another day, those who feel unattractive while carrying another life. This book is for the mothers who cry wondering how could the father leave my baby.
JP: What has been the response from the readers who you had in mind when writing Confessions of a Baby Mama?
NH: Women alot of women, too many women, can relate. Most have just read some of my manuscript. One of my brothers read a short piece and said that a book like this was neccesary. I can’t wait to hear from alot of men who may read a chapter or two.
One brother, who heads an organization in Baltimore, read a few pages and said it made him think about how he and his boys used to dog women. He also mentioned how many women they casually had relationships with and the abortions the women experienced.
This book is about the process of my healing. I am not perfect nor pristine. This book is to help men and women to know that no matter how far to the left or right you went with your child or with your baby mama or daddy you can always come back and apologize and mend for the sake of the child or children. It is not always easy. It takes time, but it’s possible.
JP: As an author, what are the keys to your success that lead to Confessions of a Baby Mama getting out to the public?
NH: It’s all about marketing and advertising. I’m talking to anyone and going anywhere to sell the book. I used to do pre-paid legal services. One of the benefits is that you learn how to approach anyone. You hear no a hundred times, and then you get a yes.
Barbershops, Beauty Salons, outside of concerts, after the club late at night, poetry readings, book stores….anything is an option. You never know when you might connect with someone who is going to advertise you. What is a no but a delayed yes.
Fear no one. Their opinion is just that, an opinion. My brother is the famous Chef Rock of Hell’s Kitchen, and I also listen to his advice about marketing and networking.
JP: As an author, what is your writing process? How long did it take for you to start and finish Confessions of a Baby Mama?
NH: It took two days for me to write this particular book. I couldn’t sleep. I wrote this book while my last two kids father was gone. I was in alot of pain. I did a lot of crying. There was a praying was going on, and I was searching for my purpose. I was seeking a mentor during my last pregnancy, and Tonya Stevenson advised me to get in touch with what God wants for me and to never stray off of that.
With her advice, I seriously began seeking. Once I started writing this particular book, I couldn’t stop writing. I didn’t even want to go to sleep. I am the type of person who writes as they feel, but I get inspired daily: watching the sunset, watching older people hold hands, listening to the women and men I know, people watching and just observing life and daily events. That is my process: whatever I feel.
JP: What’s next for Nisaa Harper?
NH: What’s next is trying to stay sane and above water. I’m still a single mom with three young children, and that takes alot of energy. I have written a few children’s books illustrated by this new artist out of Maryland, his name is Terron Whitehead. He is amazing! I am also an alumni of Elizabeth City State University, so I still have my sociology/social work degree. I love working directly with the community. The sky is the limit.
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I am going to order this book and Dedan Tolbert’s book, and make a comparison. I think these books really can help people to analyze the conflicts experienced between the sexes.
This sounds like an interesting read. More than anything I look forward to seeing/hearing the reviews from the men who read it. Too often they go about their business and “leave” the women to care for the children that they have both created. It will be interesting to get their take on the situation, once they get a glimpse of what their “baby mamas” are experiencing.
As always Joey Great Interview.Finally a true story. This is my story and I am sure much more. While I know its good men out there and more important to me good Black men they are just NOT my kids fathers. My ex husband was great until we separated then it was if I cant have you I dont want the kids. As a single mother I can not take a break. I have to provide for the kids cause he wont. I went back to school to be able to take care of them. I am happy to see this come in book form and want to see what the men have to say but not the men who take care of their the ones who dont.
Wow! Deep book and great interview.
I have never met Nisaa personally but we have talked much about our “baby mama drama” :-)through other social networks and we have share alot of emotions during our pregnancy. I am so happy for her that she has completed her story. God is Good. Nisaa have inspired me and I’m sure this book will be inspirational to many. Wishing you all the success Nisaa!!