I just read Shelia Goss’ post on gold digger vs. independent vs. old school vs. clingy women. Yes a mouthful…
Shelia starts her post off like this, “Does it make you a gold digger because you like nice things and want to be spoiled by your significant other?”
Answer: No, you would be a gold digger is your sole interest in being with a man is for what he could spoil you with. If you only like him for his money, his material things and the material thing you can get from him, you’re a gold digger. If you don’t really love him and will be gone once “the well runs dry”, say it with me… You’re a gold digger.
Another question Shelia poses is “As much as men confess to want an independent woman, some can’t deal with our independence. Why?”
Answer: It’s simple. Most men have been mentally groomed to be a provider to their girlfriend, wife and family. (Separately. I’m not talking about the cheating guy…) When a woman is so independent that her man really doesn’t serve a purpose, what’s the point? If you have every single thing together, where do I fit in? The ocassional sexual interlude?
Sure there are some men who want their women to be clingy. I wonder about them, too. But if you are so independent that you don’t seem to need me for anything, then where do we go from there. We have to have a symbiotic relationship where neither on of us are “clingy”. Instead, we have get past wanting each other. We have to need each other to reach a higher common goal.
Let me end by saying this:
Shelia Goss is a very, very classy woman.
You brought up a good point here: “When a woman is so independent that her man really doesn’t serve a purpose, what’s the point?”
Women have to be careful there’s a balance. I’m a firm believer that you can be independent but yet still allow the man to be a man in the relationship. If he’s the right man for you, he will be special and bring something into your life that wasn’t there before.
As you mentioned we need each other and we can both be independent beings depending on each other.
the major difference between a gold digger and a independent woman. ………………..A gold digger is looking for someone to live off. An independent appreciates and recognizes that no man gives his money away without sampling the goodies. My feelings it is better to pay your bills instead of being control by a man.