JoeyPinkney.com Exclusive Interview
5 Minutes, 5 Questions With…
Lisa Maria Carroll, author of Confessions of a Gold Digger: She’s the Woman You Want to Hate, but Can’t
(I Define Me, LLC)
Confessions of a Gold Digger chronicles my dating life from a time when I was ready to throw in the towel because I thought all men were no-good to a place where I found happiness in my dating life. I was so fed up with men whose idea of a great date was hanging out or kicking it at my place, eating my food, or sleeping in my bed that I donned my independent woman crown as a way of showing them that I didn’t need them. And I got everything I bargained for by attracting men who expected me to pay for dates and buy them gifts.
But I eventually realized that I was the problem, and that I needed to stop trying to change men and change myself. I had set my expectations of men so low out of fear that I wouldn’t get one. I was also afraid that I would be seen as high maintenance or a gold digger if I had standards. But once I got over those fears and did the work on myself, I began to attract men who possessed the qualities that I desired in a mate.
Joey Pinkney: Where did you get the inspiration to write Confessions of a Gold Digger: She’s the Woman You Want to Hate, but Can’t?
Lisa Maria Carroll: I host a relationship radio show, and I also have a relationship group page on Facebook. And everyday I hear from women and men who talk about their relationship problems, but don’t take responsibility for their choices. From there, I knew I wanted to write a book on relationships, but didn’t know where to start because I couldn’t narrow the topic.
Then I was brainstorming with my accountability partner one day, and she said, “Confessions of a Gold Digger,” and I was like, that’s perfect because I had recently reconnected with an ex that I hadn’t talked to in almost five years. When we talked, he called me a gold digger and said that I only broke up with him after he ran out of money.
At first I was offended, because I thought our relationship was built on love. But after I thought about it for a while, I realized that wasn’t the first time I had been called a gold digger. I usually got that title hurled at me anytime I decided to put my own interests first. I also realized that there are some women, namely white women, who don’t get called gold diggers as often as black women do, because they’re raised to have certain expectations of men that black women aren’t.
JP: What sets Confessions of a Gold Digger: She’s the Woman You Want to Hate, but Can’t apart from other books in the same genre?
LMC: Most people read the title of my book and expect it to be about a woman teaching women how to get over on men, or how to dress and where to hang out in order to snag a rich man. But that’s not the case at all. I teach women to not set their expectations of men low because that’s all they believe they can have or deserve. I want them to know that good men abound and having standards does not make them high maintenance. And if other people think it does, so what?
JP: As an author, what are the keys to your success that led to Confessions of a Gold Digger: She’s the Woman You Want to Hate, but Can’t getting out to the public?
LMC: I am a lover of all things social media, so I use my networks to get the word out.
JP: As an author, what is your writing process? How long did it take you to start and finish Confessions of a Gold Digger: She’s the Woman You Want to Hate, but Can’t?
LMC: I’m not very disciplined in my writing process, so I write whenever I feel inspired. Once I finally organized my thoughts and decided to sit down and put them in print, it only took two weeks. However, the revision process was much longer, probably about four months.
JP: What’s next for Lisa Maria Carroll?
LMC: I’m currently working on a fiction series called Even Thugs Love Jesus. The first book by the same title is due out in Spring 2012. I’ve also drafted the outline for the second book, which is Single, Saved and Searching for a Wife.