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5 Minutes, 5 Questions With… Dedan Tolbert, author of What Women Need To Know…But Don’t Want To Hear

JoeyPinkney.com Exclusive Interview
5 Minutes, 5 Questions With..
Dedan Tolbert, editor of What Women Need To Know…But Don’t Want To Hear
(TB&D Publishing)

I’m Dedan Tolbert, author of the award-winning novel The Love We Had…, Ask Dedan-Sex, Dating, and Relationships- Volume I, What Women Need To Know…But Don’t Want To Hear, advice columnist for 25 magazines and the host of “The Dedan Tolbert Show”, which airs weeknights at 9:00pm EST on The TB&D Radio Network. Listen live by calling 646-200-0366 or logging onto http://dedansplace.net.

Joey Pinkney: Where did you get the idea and inspiration to write What Women Need To Know…?

Dedan Tolbert: My upcoming audio book What Women Need To Know…But Don’t Want To Hear will answer all of the tough questions women have about men, dating and relationships.

In this book, I don’t pacify women by telling them exactly what they want to hear. Instead, I give them real talk answers that encourage self-examination and reflection that will often explain a lot about the uncomfortable circumstances they find themselves in.

JP: What prompted you to release What Women Need To Know… as an audio book?

DT: I receive hundreds of “Ask Dedan” advice questions monthly from women from all over the world asking questions like why men cheat, why they don’t commit, why they can’t find and keep a good man and many others.

Unfortunately, much of the relationship advice currently being given doesn’t touch on the real reasons men do the things they do.

Sometimes the truth hurts to hear which is why I decided to make it an audio book, so there would be no confusion about the message I was trying to convey.

JP: As an author, what are the keys to your success that lead to What Women Need To Know… getting out to the public?

DT: Based on the popularity of “The Dedan Tolbert Show”, where we deal with just about every relationship topic possible, my international audience is anxiously awaiting the Valentines Day release of What Women Need To Know…But Don’t Want To Hear.

In a society where 70% of black women are single and 40% have never been married, people don’t need sugarcoated advice that pacifies women by telling them exactly what they want to hear. They need someone who’s going to give them a little tough love and touch their souls.

I’m currently on a promotional tour to spread the word about this audio book that’s being called by many the realest advice anyone they’ve ever heard. For more information on me, please visit http://dedansplace.net or http://dedantolbert.com.

JP: As an author, what is your writing process? How long did it take for you to start and finish What Women Need To Know…?

DT: Because this is an audio book, where I’m discussing dating and relationship topics that I’m very passionate about the recording process didn’t take long at all. Many, if not all, of the content found in What Women Need To Know…But Don’t Want To Hear can also be heard weeknights at 9:00pm EST on “The Dedan Tolbert Show”.

My goal with any advice I give is to not help women “think like a man” (which is impossible) but instead to help them understand how men think and why we do the things we do.

JP: What’s next for Dedan Tolbert?

DT: Currently, I’m preparing for the Valentines Day release of my new audio book, What Women Need To Know…But Don’t Want To Hear which will change the dating world as we know it. There isn’t one relationship issue that I can think of that’s not covered in this book. Get your copy on Valentines Day exclusively at http://dedansplace.net.

In August, I’m expecting a huge response for the re-release of my award-winning novel, “The Love We Had…” Also, this upcoming year on “The Dedan Tolbert Show”, I will continue to bring my listeners quality programming they won’t be able to find anywhere else in the country. Listen live weeknights at 9:00pm EST by calling 646-200-0366 or by logging onto http://dedansplace.net.

“The Dedan Tolbert Show” now has an international audience as has featured some of the nation’s biggest celebrities like Nene Leakes from “The Real Housewives of Atlanta”, Dru Hill, Jagged Edge, Syleena Johnson and platinum gospel group, Trin-I-Tee 5:7. The Love We Had… was named one of the top 10 books of 2006 by TheWritersInn.com and has become known as one of the best and most tragic love stories of all time.

I’ve also featured several of the world’s top best selling authors of urban fiction like, ZANE, Anna J, Miasha, J.L. King, Shannon Holmes , K’wan and many more…  “The Dedan Tolbert Show” is nominated for the AAMBC Award for Best Literary Talk Show. To vote for me, please send an email to aambcvoting@gmail.com.


Dedan Tolbert
PO Box 18807
Philadelphia, PA 19119

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Joey Pinkney was on The Dedan Tolbert Show discussing Like Father, Like Son and The Soul of a Man Anthology

Peace in the Storm Publishing is gearing up to Father’s Day 2009 release an anthology entitled The Soul of a Man. I am a contributor with a short story entitled “Like Father, Like Son”. (Autographed copies available at http://joeyisinit.com)

I was a guest on Dedan Tolbert’s blogtalkradio show. Brian Ganges, a fellow contributor, was also on the show.

Click the link below to listen to the show:


Listen to the whirlwind discussion between Dedan Tolbert, Brain Ganges and I.

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The 14 Days After Q&A Grande Finale: Each author gets a special question just for him or her.

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For Tanya White: Some people are addicted to drama-filled relationships, and they don’t even know they are.  Does your book address how to recognize if a person is co-dependent to toxic relationships?

Tanya White: Yes. In my book Relationship Reruns, I address the 20 keys to finding “R-E-S-T” from toxic relationship messes such both parties showing respect, encouragement, steadfastness and trustworthiness. For an explanation of the other 16 keys, read Episode 9 of Relationship Reruns.

For Dedan Tolbert: What topic would you say people in relationships have the hardest time discussing: money or sex?

Dedan Tolbert: Both topics have the potential to be the source of a great deal of conflict. It doesn’t have to be this way though. The foundation of all relationships needs to be communication and honesty. If you have these two things, you will rarely “argue” about anything. Money and Sex can be topics that two people can disagree about because of their sensitive nature. If you communicate effectively, they shouldn’t be a problem.

Women need to remember that men have sensitive egos about money as well as sex. When it comes to sex, all men want to believe that they are the best partner their mate has ever had, and she is 100% satisfied. To find out that’s not the case can be devastating for some men and cause them to not want to do it at all.

Money is a similar subject. Men want to be the breadwinners in the home. If they’re not, they at least want to feel like they are. As far as bills are concerned, there needs to be a conversation about who’s going to pay for what, so that when the bills come there aren’t any surprises.

Without good communication and honestly, the smallest of problems can turn into huge disputes in the home.

For Cassandra Washington: If you were to take all your topics into consideration and only choose one, what would you say is the biggest misconception men have about women?  And why?

The biggest misconception about women is that they are complicated creatures. This is completely false. Every woman, no matter what type of woman she is, from earthy to high-maintenance to mellow, from rich to poor, doesn’t matter, they all want the same thing: some “Act-Right”.

What is “Act-Right” you ask? It’s simple. It’s saying what you mean, meaning what you say and doing what you said you were going to do. Plain and simple. At the end of the day, we want some Act-Right. If you give it to us, you’ll get everything your heart desires and the most peace your existence can enjoy.

Asking for “Act-Right” is not being petty or ridiculous. When you think about it, it’s directly correlated to honesty. If you say you love someone and don’t mean it, that’s a lie. Right? If you say you’re going to call at six that night, but know you probably won’t call until you get back from the club at three the next morning, that’s a lie. And no one wants a liar, right? Right.

For Big Boom: Some women feel they can change a man. In your opinion, can a sucka be reformed? Does your book address that possibility?

Big Boom: No, a woman can not change a man! She might think that he’s a changed man, but the moment you make him mad he will go back to being the same old person. If you let him change himself, he probably would ask God to help him. You will at least end up with a man that is trying.

Can a sucka be reformed? Yes, when he finds out after all this time being a sucka has no value. It’s many ways for a man to change. What I found that works best for me was prayer. I address that in my first book, ” IF YOU WANT CLOSURE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP START WITH YOUR LEGS”.

Sun 02-15-09 Do you have to be a freak to enjoy great sex?

Mon 02-16-09 Is sex overrated?

Tue 02-17-09 When should men draw the line in role playing?

Wed 02-18-09 Why do men really cheat?

Thu 02-19-09 Why do I date the same people over and over?

Fri 02-20-09 Why are men challenged by their perineal G-spot?

Sat 02-21-09 Do I tell my friend she’s dating a married man?

Sun 02-22-09 How do I tell my husband I’m sexually frustrated without hurting his feelings?

Mon 02-23-09 Would more racial boundaries break if more people dated interacially?

Tue 02-24-09 How do I cope with not trusting my girfriend after catching her with another woman?

Wed 02-25-09 How do I get my boyfriend of 8 yrs to understand my desire to marry him with losing him?

Thu 02-26-09 How do I cope with my boyfriend sending me mixed messages?

Fri 02-27-09 I fell in love with my best friend’s wife. What should I do?

Sat 02-28-09 Each author gets a special question just for him or her.

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