Tag Archives: sex

JoeyPinkney.com Exclusive Interview
5 Minutes, 5 Questions With…
Jodi Ambrose, author of Sex: How to Get More of It
(In Your Face Publishing)

Sex: How to Get More of It is a fast-paced, witty guide for men on how to achieve romantic bliss with the women in their lives. The book takes a no-holds-barred approach to understanding women so that men learn why we act/react the way we do and how they can “work it” to get what they want most: more sex and a happy mate.

This is going to sound bad, I know, but the book coaches men to lie when appropriate and scheme a bit, but it also gives them tools on how to be kind and loving without breaking the bank.

Wouldn’t you love to watch football without interruption? To not be nagged to death? To play video games without being hammered at? To get more and better sex? Learning how to make that happen is what the book is all about.

Ultimately, we all want to be happy. It can sometimes be easy to fall into everyday ho-hums in a relationship, and that’s when we start forgetting to do the things that made us and our significant others happy in the first place. Sex: How to Get More of It is a kick in the pants for all the men out there so that they know EXACTLY what to do to have a joyful home.

Joey Pinkney: Where did you get the inspiration to write Sex: How to Get More of It?

Jodi Ambrose: I’ve always been fascinated by human behavior and shocked sometimes by how senselessly people cause one another pain. It Continue reading 5 Minutes, 5 Questions With… Jodi Ambrose, author of Sex: How to Get More of It →

african american author, african american authors, african american book, african american books, criticism, sex

The 14 Days After Q&A: How do I tell my husband Iâ€™m sexually frustrated without hurting his feelings?

February 22, 2009 Joey Pinkney 2 Comments

My husband and I have been married for twelve years and have never cheated on the other. I am sexually frustrated and wish to add some spice to my marriage. How should I approach the subject without hurting my husband’s feelings?

Dedan Tolbert: It’s true that men can have very fragile egos when it comes to their sexual performance, so it’s good that you are cognizant of his feelings. The best advice I can give would be to suggest trying new things to your husband. Let him know what would turn you on as opposed to telling him what he’s doing wrong in the bedroom. If you take this approach, you’ll get what you want without hurting his ego and causing him to think that you’re unhappy.

Something else to keep in mind is that most men don’t need too much coercion to try new things. If he’s lost interest in sex, you might want to take a look at yourself to see if there’s something that you’re doing or not doing that’s caused him to take a step back…

Cassandra Washington: For you to be sexually frustrated, I’m assuming the sex has somewhat come to a complete halt in your relationship. The best approach is to just go for what you know, meaning, don’t talk about it, just be about it. One night, spice up the bedroom action by adding some racy lingerie, some fruit and wine, a little whip cream, kiss him like you are dying of hunger, caress him like you can’t live without his skin. Role play. Purr. Get on top!

Do something different to show him that you are down and ready to spice it up. Truthfully, your husband is probably already thinking the same thing. He probably wants to spice it up but thinks you may not want to go there. Go for it. If he reacts positively, good. If not, then you need to have “the talk”.

Big Boom: As long as you frustrated, you are hurting his feeling any way. A clear mind helps you to be more creative, lovable and sexual. Make sure he is not tired of you.

Tanya White: First, I would do a self evaluation as to why you are really frustrated sexually. Sex is more than physical. It is also emotional and spiritual. All 3 are interconnected into creating a healthy and fulfilling sex life.

Also, the fact that you stated in your first sentence that neither of you have ever cheated on the other sends a red flag that in the deep chambers of your mind you are seriously contemplating cheating as a means of sexually satisfaction. If so, then I strongly encourage you not to succumb to those urges.

Next, I would immediately carve out time to discuss your feelings with your husband. I encourage you to approach the issue delicately yet honestly. Use a lot of “I” statements instead of “you” statements. If the issue is not resolved, there is nothing wrong with seeking outside advice or counseling.

Sun 02-15-09 Do you have to be a freak to enjoy great sex?

Mon 02-16-09 Is sex overrated?

Tue 02-17-09 When should men draw the line in role playing?

Wed 02-18-09 Why do men really cheat?

Thu 02-19-09 Why do I date the same people over and over?

Fri 02-20-09 Why are men challenged by their perineal G-spot?

Sat 02-21-09 Do I tell my friend she’s dating a married man?

Sun 02-22-09 How do I tell my husband I’m sexually frustrated without hurting his feelings?

Mon 02-23-09 Would more racial boundaries break if more people dated interacially?

Tue 02-24-09 How do I cope with not trusting my girfriend after catching her with another woman?

Wed 02-25-09 How do I get my boyfriend of 8 yrs to understand my desire to marry him with losing him?

Thu 02-26-09 How do I cope with my boyfriend sending me mixed messages?

Fri 02-27-09 I fell in love with my best friend’s wife. What should I do?

Sat 02-28-09 Each author gets a special question just for him or her.

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The 14 Days After Q&A: Do I tell my friend she’s dating a married man?

February 21, 2009 Joey Pinkney 22 Comments

A thirty-year-old female friend of mine has been dating a man for three years. He has yet to propose marriage to her. I recently found out that the man is married! Do I tell my friend what I’ve learned and insist she dump the guy, or do I mind my own business?

Cassandra Washington: If she is truly a friend of yours, then you shouldn’t even have to ask. Of course you should tell her that information if you know the information is true! It is up to her whether she wants to accept it or not, but I wouldn’t sit on that truth, not at all.

No, it’s not your job to tell her to dump the guy. That’s a decision that she has to make on her own and live with. However, telling her what you found out is critical; she may very well indeed hate you for it today, but she’ll thank you for it tomorrow.

Big Boom: If you tell her, you could lose a friend. However, once she faces reality you could gain her back because she probably already know. Only reason she’d be mad at you is because now she mustÂ to do something about it.

Tanya White: I believe your friend already knows and has decided to pursue the relationship anyway. Think about it. You found out that he was married. It must not be hard for her to find out. As for insisting that she dump the guy, that only creates more tension. Healthy friendships are not ones of insistence but of unconditional love.

Dedan Tolbert: The first problem with this situation is that the man hasn’t proposed after three years. It doesn’t take a man that long to figure out if he wants to spend the rest of his life with someone. Women need to stop being so understanding when it comes to relationships.

Let your man know how you feel about your relationship. If it’s marriage that you want…tell him. If he’s not on board with that, you need to keep it moving. Too many women waste the best parts of their lives on men who don’t really want them.

As far as him being married, I would tell your friend what you know about the situation if I was in your shoes. I’m sure you would want a true friend to do the same for you. Never sell yourself short and settle for less than you truly want or deserve.