A thirty-year-old female friend of mine has been dating a man for three years. He has yet to propose marriage to her. I recently found out that the man is married! Do I tell my friend what I’ve learned and insist she dump the guy, or do I mind my own business?
Cassandra Washington: If she is truly a friend of yours, then you shouldn’t even have to ask. Of course you should tell her that information if you know the information is true! It is up to her whether she wants to accept it or not, but I wouldn’t sit on that truth, not at all.
No, it’s not your job to tell her to dump the guy. That’s a decision that she has to make on her own and live with. However, telling her what you found out is critical; she may very well indeed hate you for it today, but she’ll thank you for it tomorrow.
Big Boom: If you tell her, you could lose a friend. However, once she faces reality you could gain her back because she probably already know. Only reason she’d be mad at you is because now she mustÂ to do something about it.
Tanya White: I believe your friend already knows and has decided to pursue the relationship anyway. Think about it. You found out that he was married. It must not be hard for her to find out. As for insisting that she dump the guy, that only creates more tension. Healthy friendships are not ones of insistence but of unconditional love.
Dedan Tolbert: The first problem with this situation is that the man hasn’t proposed after three years. It doesn’t take a man that long to figure out if he wants to spend the rest of his life with someone. Women need to stop being so understanding when it comes to relationships.
Let your man know how you feel about your relationship. If it’s marriage that you want…tell him. If he’s not on board with that, you need to keep it moving. Too many women waste the best parts of their lives on men who don’t really want them.
As far as him being married, I would tell your friend what you know about the situation if I was in your shoes. I’m sure you would want a true friend to do the same for you. Never sell yourself short and settle for less than you truly want or deserve.
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