Why do I date the same people over and over again? Is it a deeper connection that draw these people to me, or is it just what I like?
Tanya White: We attract who and where we are in life. People are drawn to us because of commonalities they sense from us and level of probability that they have of actually securing a relationship. Oftentimes, we deduce our negative rerun dating experiences and choices to being a simple matter of what we like. Our perpetual choices are primarily due to unresolved hurts such as rejection, fear, issues of abandonment. Until we conduct a self assessment as to why we make the same unhealthy choices we will continue to repeat the unhealthy dating cycle.
Dedan Tolbert: One thing to keep in mind is that a man is going to treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated. If you present yourself like you don’t have any respect for yourself, then that’s how a man is going to treat you. Sister Souljah once said, “Confused women attract confused men”. The first thing you need to do is ask yourself what kind of man you’re looking for and then develop a plan on how to go about getting him.
Cassandra Washington: There’s a saying that my mother always told me: “If you continue to do what you’ve always done, you’ll continue to get what you’ve always gotten.” This can be applied to everything in life. Therefore, when you start noticing this trend, you need to take a deep look at yourself and see what it is that you are continually doing, saying, where you are continually hanging out at, and who you are continually accepting and turning away.
Maybe you’ll find that you are turning down the guy with no game, who may actually be a perfect fit for you, and instead, opting to choose the man with the mouthpiece, dressed in brand labels, who would holler at your best friend if you blinked your eyes. Deep down, you like the flash and fast life. For example, I know a young lady who would profess that she wanted a man to want her for her mind and not her body. Whenever she met a guy, she dressed provocatively and used her body to get more attention.
She got the attention, but not the attention that she wanted. Remember, how you start out is most definitely how you’ll finish in a relationship. If you keep getting the wrong type of men, it may be because you don’t know what you need in your life. You’re continually blinded by what you want which doesn’t always even out.
Big Boom: You keep getting the same type of man because you haven’t changed anything about yourself. It’s not that you are getting the same type of man; the true problem is the men are getting same old women.
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