The 14 Days After Q&A: I fell in love with my best friend’s wife. What should I do?

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I fell in love with my best friend’s wife. I think she likes me, too. I’m single and don’t want to ruin my relationship or their marriage. But the attraction is overwhelming. What should I do?

Cassandra Washington: This is no doubt a sticky situation and one that should be avoided at all costs. I have to question if that is really your best friend if you have fallen for his wife. True friends don’t do that, to be quite honest with you. In any case, you’ve fallen, so now it’s time to deal with the heart of the matter: this union will never work, even if it works. This means that if she does leave her husband for you, she will never truly be yours.

The cycle can very well continue, and you to be the one that’s left hanging in the future. Why even waste your time or risk your friendship for a situation that is doomed to fail from the beginning? At the end of the day, you are going to do what you want to do. However, if you go with your mind and not your head, I’m sure you will do the right thing.

Big Boom: Get ready to die! And go to hell! It’s too many single women in this world for you to break up someone’s home.

Dedan Tolbert:
If this man is truly your best friend, you need to end this relationship with his wife immediately. No friendship is worth ruing over something that’s just an attraction. You said you fell in love, so this sounds like it’s more than just an attraction.

You may want to remove yourself from the situation all together. Stop going to family get-togethers and cookouts where you know you’ll be around her. That will only cause trouble and lead to temptation. If you want to preserve the friendship, I wouldn’t recommend telling your friend about this affair… Sometimes its best to just walk away.

Tanya White:
NOTHING! Married people are off limits no matter how much the marriage is in jeopardy. Your attraction, while valid, may be temporary due to other feelings such as loneliness, loss, etc.

No matter what the wife’s feelings are towards you are, you seriously need to distance yourself from that couple until you conquer these inappropriate feelings towards your best friend’s wife.

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21 thoughts on “The 14 Days After Q&A: I fell in love with my best friend’s wife. What should I do?”

  1. Whoa! You can not involve yourself with a sacred union, a covenant, and what God has bound…we cannot allow our lustful passions take forth. It cannot be love, you cannot love another man’s wife. You are infactuated, attraction, and things of this nature, but no way can it be love. Do not be in a room alone with her! I agree with, there are so many single women, find someone else!

  2. **smh**

    I don’t understand why individuals continuously fall for married people. Wait…I do understand. It just doesn’t make sense.

    With as many single women that are out there one would think this one would find a single woman. But there is a deeper issue. The ROOT of the problem:

    Typically, individuals who go after married people either don’t have the confidence of approaching someone single or just don’t want commitment. Either way, that’s an issue he needs to address. And take a seriously hard look in the mirror.

  3. Boom is right.

    It’s in the bible that you will get a one way ticket to H – E – L – L. Just thinking aobut it is making the angels print your ticket up.

    When God has to specifically point it out that YOU DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT COMMITTING ADULTERY, then that should make you rethink your feelings.

    She’s a great girl, which is why your friend has her. He got to her first. Stop being a sore loser and find another fish in the sea.

    Another rant from Blogger How To Love A Black Woman.

  4. And there you have it, sir. Cease and desist! Nobody, except maybe a drunk friend, would tell you to pursue you desires.

    A lot of times, people say that there are a lot of prospects in the world. I can understand that you might not be a world traveler, but there has to be someone else that could benefit from your affections in your general vicinity. Right?

    I get the feeling that you think you know your best friend. You must think he’s weak and ineffective. That’s cool…but. If you pursue your feelings and he thinks that your take him to be a punk, you might be surprised to find out how far he will go to show you that he’s anything but pushover.

    So this is how it could play out:

    You follow through on your love for your best friend’s wife although the love is really lust.

    You lose your best friend, who is now your worst enemy.

    Your fling ends up back firing because the wife figures out that your would do this to anyone, so she doesn’t want anything to do with you.

    Your worst enemy stops at nothing to kill you.

    You die a violent death.

    The Devil welcomes you to the hottest vacation this side of heaven.

    Fire and brimstone…

    The End.

  5. The would that stood out for me was, “think.” You said you THINK she likes you too. Well, what if she doesn’t and you go do a fool thing like tell her that jive? Not only will you piss her off, you’ll piss your friend off too and ruin a friendship. Wake up from the dream before your best friend becomes your worst enemy.

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