Category Archives: criticism

The 14 Days After Q&A: Why Do Men Really Cheat?


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Why do men really cheat?

Dedan Tolbert: While this question is often an extremely complicated one, the first step is to identify what “stage” your man is in at that particular point in his life. When I say stage, I mean that all men go through 3 stages for what they are looking for from women. These 3 stages differ from man to man and are often based on the man’s maturity level.

One stage is the “dog stage”. This stage is where men just want to have sex with as many women as possible as fast as possible. They don’t really care about the woman’s feelings at all. Another stage is the “player stage”. This stage is when a man finds someone who he’s interested in settling down with but he still wants to have his fun on the side while dealing with multiple other women. The last stage is the “wifey stage”. This is when a man is truly interested in finding a wife or a girlfriend and really being committed to her. I’m not saying that men won’t cheat during this stage, but it’s not what he’s setting out to do mentally.

So overall, there’s no easy answer to this question.When it comes to the question of why a man is cheating on his woman, it depends on what stage he’s in when he cheats.

Cassandra Washington: That’s a great question. From what I hear from a lot of men, some do it just because they can. You know, to see if they still have it like that. Some do it because they feel constricted or neglected in their current relationship. What men are missing in their current situation, they’ll try to find it outside. It’s never a good idea, but hey, it happens because they are human. Humans make mistakes. I will say, however, with the way the world is today with disease, pregnancy rates, violence, etc, cheating is never a good idea. You can’t fix what’s inside, by going out, feel what I’m saying?

Big Boom: It’s fun and it’s easy to do. It makes some men feel like they own the world. If you don’t know any better, you feel like it’s part of manhood. Some guys learn from the best, which would be there father.

Tanya White: In my opinion, men cheat because they have not been honest with themselves or their companion about what they truly want and need not just physically but also emotionally and spiritually. Instead of patiently waiting to find the love they really want and deserve, they settle for what I call “Might As Well Hell” by staying in an unfulfilling relationship and pursuing another unfulfilling relationship on the side. (For complete explanation of what I mean by “Might As Well Hell”, read issue #158 of Tanya’s Tips newsletter via www.tanyawhite.com)

The 14 Days After Q&A is a relationship mini-series. For the month of February, each day after Valentine’s Day will feature a new relationship question to be answered by two female and two male authors who have written books about relationships. Click here for more information about the authors Tanya White, Cassandra Washington, Dedan Tolbert and Big Boom.

Sun 02-15-09 Do you have to be a freak to enjoy great sex?

Mon 02-16-09 Is sex overrated?

Tue 02-17-09 When should men draw the line in role playing?

Wed 02-18-09 Why do men really cheat?

Thu 02-19-09 Why do I date the same people over and over?

Fri 02-20-09 Why are men challenged by their perineal G-spot?

Sat 02-21-09 Do I tell my friend she’s dating a married man?

Sun 02-22-09 How do I tell my husband I’m sexually frustrated without hurting his feelings?

Mon 02-23-09 Would more racial boundaries break if more people dated interacially?

Tue 02-24-09 How do I cope with not trusting my girfriend after catching her with another woman?

Wed 02-25-09 How do I get my boyfriend of 8 yrs to understand my desire to marry him with losing him?

Thu 02-26-09 How do I cope with my boyfriend sending me mixed messages?

Fri 02-27-09 I fell in love with my best friend’s wife. What should I do?

Sat 02-28-09 Each author gets a special question just for him or her.

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The 14 Days After Q&A: When should men draw the line in role playing?


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Where should men draw the line when it comes to pleasing their woman with role playing?

Cassandra Washington: Whenever he or she feels uncomfortable, that’s when the line should be drawn. If both parties are down for anything, and it’s no holds-barred, then they should just continue to go with the flow and live in the moments.

Big Boom: When it starts getting dangerous for your marriage.

Dedan Tolbert: I don’t really think a man should have to draw a line when pleasing their woman. There should be a mutual understanding between both people that nothing will be done that makes either person uncomfortable in any way. Love making should be something that is special and treasured by both people. Role playing can be a great, fun way to enhance a couple’s sex life but like everything, there is a time and place for everything.

Tanya White:
Each couple should have their own sexual expectations and boundaries that they should feel comfortable with.

The 14 Days After Q&A is a relationship mini-series. For the month of February, each day after Valentine’s Day will feature a new relationship question to be answered by two female and two male authors who have written books about relationships. Click here for more information about the authors Tanya White, Cassandra Washington, Dedan Tolbert and Big Boom.

Sun 02-15-09 Do you have to be a freak to enjoy great sex?

Mon 02-16-09 Is sex overrated?

Tue 02-17-09 When should men draw the line in role playing?

Wed 02-18-09 Why do men really cheat?

Thu 02-19-09 Why do I date the same people over and over?

Fri 02-20-09 Why are men challenged by their perineal G-spot?

Sat 02-21-09 Do I tell my friend she’s dating a married man?

Sun 02-22-09 How do I tell my husband I’m sexually frustrated without hurting his feelings?

Mon 02-23-09 Would more racial boundaries break if more people dated interacially?

Tue 02-24-09 How do I cope with not trusting my girfriend after catching her with another woman?

Wed 02-25-09 How do I get my boyfriend of 8 yrs to understand my desire to marry him with losing him?

Thu 02-26-09 How do I cope with my boyfriend sending me mixed messages?

Fri 02-27-09 I fell in love with my best friend’s wife. What should I do?

Sat 02-28-09 Each author gets a special question just for him or her.

This Post is Sponsored by:

Peace in the Storm Bannerteresa patterson ex boyfriend
Barbara Grovner Banner
Jahzara Writes Banner
Jean Holloway Banner
michelle larks the legacies banner
MoneyMakingBanners@gmail.com

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The 14 Days After Q&A: Is Sex Overated?


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Is sex overrated?

Big Boom: Yes sometime, as you get older you will learn there is more important things in life.

Tanya White:
No, sex is not overrated but undervalued. It is not a insatiable physical urge that can not be controlled. Good, healthy sex is an emotional, spiritual and physical consummation between two individuals and nobody else.

Dedan Tolbert: I don’t think sex is overrated at all. It’s just a matter of finding the right person who can make it as beautiful for you as it’s intended to be. The true beauty of sex will never be completely realized until two people are married because that’s the way God intended it to be. Too often sex is trivialized in “friend with benefits” situations.

I advise people who are dating to take their time before becoming intimate. It’s very hard to build a relationship when sex occurs too soon. Usually women become attached soon after intimacy. Men tend to withdraw and search for the next conquest if he hasn’t had a chance to develop an emotional foundation. Keeping that in perspective, sex can be overrated especially when two people let it ruin a potentially great relationship.

The best advice that I could give a woman when dating a man is not to give it up too soon. No matter what the guy says, he won’t respect you if you do. Men have ways of saying whatever they need to say to get what they want. It’s best for all women not to give it up for a while. What’s a while, you might ask? If it doesn’t seem like a long time and your man hasn’t started complaining, then it’s too soon. Not getting sex immediately may annoy and frustrate your man initially. In the long run, he’ll respect you a lot more… even if he doesn’t talk to you anymore. Depending on the stage he’s in, he may decide to just cut you off completely and move on to his next conquest. At least you found that out before you gave it up to him and added another “notch on his belt”.

Cassandra Washington: It depends on the person you ask. Some love it, some don’t. Personally, casual sex is so very much overrated. It lasts about 35 minutes and half the time, he gets “his” but you don’t get “yours”. But making love? Now that’s the business right there! There’s a big difference in the experience when feelings are involved during an intimate act as opposed to not having an emotional connection at all and being physical. When you have feelings for someone, the slightest touch can send chills up your spine.

The 14 Days After Q&A is a relationship mini-series. For the month of February, each day after Valentine’s Day will feature a new relationship question to be answered by two female and two male authors who have written books about relationships. Click here for more information about the authors Tanya White, Cassandra Washington, Dedan Tolbert and Big Boom.

Sun 02-15-09 Do you have to be a freak to enjoy great sex?

Mon 02-16-09 Is sex overrated?

Tue 02-17-09 When should men draw the line in role playing?

Wed 02-18-09 Why do men really cheat?

Thu 02-19-09 Why do I date the same people over and over?

Fri 02-20-09 Why are men challenged by their perineal G-spot?

Sat 02-21-09 Do I tell my friend she’s dating a married man?

Sun 02-22-09 How do I tell my husband I’m sexually frustrated without hurting his feelings?

Mon 02-23-09 Would more racial boundaries break if more people dated interacially?

Tue 02-24-09 How do I cope with not trusting my girfriend after catching her with another woman?

Wed 02-25-09 How do I get my boyfriend of 8 yrs to understand my desire to marry him with losing him?

Thu 02-26-09 How do I cope with my boyfriend sending me mixed messages?

Fri 02-27-09 I fell in love with my best friend’s wife. What should I do?

Sat 02-28-09 Each author gets a special question just for him or her.

This Post is Sponsored by:

Peace in the Storm Bannerteresa patterson ex boyfriend
Barbara Grovner Banner
Jahzara Writes Banner
Jean Holloway Banner
michelle larks the legacies banner
MoneyMakingBanners@gmail.com

Advertise with JoeyPinkney.com for just $20 (click here).