My girlfriend of seven months recently told me that she cheated on her last boyfriend twice with the female I thought was just her friend. She’s assured me that that’s a thing of the past, but she talks to and texts her best friend all the time. How do I cope with the feeling that there’s more than meets the eye?
Big Boom: There are 3 things you could do: 1. Have a three-some. 2. Be a fool. 3. End the relationship because you will never trust her.
Tanya White: I respect the fact that she confided her inappropriate behavior. You must trust your mate. She has done something specifically in the relationship which has made you doubt her trust then you two need to discuss it.Â If you can not trust her then you are not going to have a healthy or fulfilling relationship.
Dedan Tolbert: With any relationship, there needs to be a certain level of trust. You can’t be with someone when you can’t be 100% sure what they’re telling you is the truth. In this situation, I would ask her one final time if her cheating ways are behind her. When she tells you that they are…leave it at that.
If down the line certain behavior raises red flags, you need confront her about it and come to a mutually beneficial resolution. If that’s not possible, then you have to ask yourself if that’s a situation you want to remain a part of.
Cassandra Washington: Trust is a big component of a lasting relationship. If there is no trust, there is no relationship, simple and plain. Before you allow your paranoia to get the best of you, simply have a discussion with your mate and express how you are feeling a bit unsure about the current situation.
Telling her to remove her best friend from her life is not an option . If this “best friend” is a lover as well, former or current, then it might not be that unreasonable. If she has anything to say about it, ask her to put the shoe on the other foot and see how she would feel then.
In any case, intuition is a gift given to you to protect your heart. When it starts knocking at your door, you better answer.
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Mon 02-23-09 Would more racial boundaries break if more people dated interacially?
Tue 02-24-09 How do I cope with not trusting my girfriend after catching her with another woman?
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Thu 02-26-09 How do I cope with my boyfriend sending me mixed messages?
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Sat 02-28-09 Each author gets a special question just for him or her.
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19 thoughts on “The 14 Days After Q&A: How do I cope with not trusting my girfriend after catching her with another woman?”
Very touchy topic here. Great answers from your panel, again, I give big ups to Cassandra Washington for this one! I have to find her books!
One a person cheats, whether with a male or female, if both parties can’t work together to make the relationship work, then it won’t work.
You have to either say, I forgive and forget and i want to stay with this person because they’ll respect me now and won’t do it again
It’s quite plain and simple.
If your relationship is based on lust, see Big Boom’s first suggestion then immediately proceed to #3.
If your relationship is based on love, intuition is your best friend.
My intuition tells me “No Go”!
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