My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years. I want to get married, he’s not ready. How do I get him to understand how important marriage is to our relationship without risking losing him altogether?
Cassandra Washington: After 8 years, you have to wonder what is truly keeping him from making your union legal?Â This is a discussion that most definitely needs to take place. Do not worry about it being the right place, or the right time, because quite frankly, if it’s been 8 years, obviously he’s uncomfortable with the idea of legal commitment, and therefore, any time the subject is brought up will make him sweat. Whenever you talk to him, be sure to not whine, beg, give ultimatums, or complain. Simply question the direction of your relationship, if he sees marriage in the near future, and if not, what is keeping him from that path? Eight years is a long time to dance around a subject, and an even longer time to find out that your bond is not moving forward, but in circles. So just go for it, and let the chips fall where they may.
Big Boom: You need to tell God and not him, some men want to be a life time boyfriend, If he wanted to marry you, Â you would of been married 7 years ago. Because a man in love do not wait that long., because he cannot afford to lose you.
Tanya White: I get these scenarios all of the time.Â If one party is not ready for the next level such as marriage there is literally nothing you can do to “make” him understand.Â First, analyze why you really want to marry this person.Â Even though you have been together for 8 years, you really have not been together for 8 years because you are not on the same page as to the future of the relationship.Â Many times people confuse length of time with the longevity of success.Â You need to be honest with yourself to see if the relationship has run its’ course.Â Forcing or nagging your boyfriend into marriage may get you a wedding but not a healthy marriage and eventual divorce.
Dedan Tolbert: In this situation, your concern shouldn’t be about him. It needs to be about you and your happiness. If a man isn’t ready to marry you after eight years, he doesn’t want to get married… or at least not to you. Men who wait this long before really committing are playing some sort of game. Usually it means he’s still out there looking for the next best thing. You would be wise to give him a timetable or ultimatum. If you don’t you could find yourself alone after eight years with nothing to show for it.
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