The 14 Days After Q&A: Do you have to be a freak to enjoy great sex?

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For women, there is a stigma attached to being labeled as a “freak” that keeps some women from fully exploring their sexuality. Do you have to be a “freak” to enjoy great sex?

Tanya White: No, you do not have to be a freak to enjoy sex. Society has ingrained in our minds that sex is cheap, dirty and perverted. In actuality, sex is a sacred encounter between two mature adults who have agreed to become physically intimate because the have become emotionally intimate. When sex occurs in this context, nothing is undefiled or off limits because the two have communicated their desires amongst themselves and nobody else.

Dedan Tolbert: I believe that the negativity that many believe is associated with being a freak is intended for those women who portray themselves as a “hoe”. There is nothing wrong with being a freak under the right circumstances. My definition of a freak is a woman who will do any and everything to make sure her man is completely satisfied. Most men desire “a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets”. A hoe is someone who is promiscuous and does freaky things for a large number of people. I don’t think you have to necessarily be a freak to enjoy great sex because you’re not going to do any and everything for everybody. Some things should be saved for your man, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have great sex without doing all the “freaky” things.

Cassandra Washington: Of course not. You only have to be comfortable with your situation and your body. If you’re with a man who makes you feel safe enough to be who you are, and you accept who you are and what you can do, you’ll be quite surprised the tricks you come up with and the fun you have doing them. Having fun and trying new things doesn’t make you a freak. It just shows that you are uninhibited and open-minded, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Big Boom: To stop the stigma, women need to slow down. If you just have to have sex, then hold back some of your wild side because it could end up a one night stand. As the relationship progresses slowly begin show the side that you held back.While you two are watching something with love making in it, suggest that you and your man try it. This will make him feel he taught you something new, and you can get your freak on at the same time.

The 14 Days After Q&A is a relationship mini-series. For the month of February, each day after Valentine’s Day will feature a new relationship question to be answered by two female and two male authors who have written books about relationships. Click here for more information about the authors Tanya White, Cassandra Washington, Dedan Tolbert and Big Boom.

Sun 02-15-09 Do you have to be a freak to enjoy great sex?

Mon 02-16-09 Is sex overrated?

Tue 02-17-09 When should men draw the line in role playing?

Wed 02-18-09 Why do men really cheat?

Thu 02-19-09 Why do I date the same people over and over?

Fri 02-20-09 Why are men challenged by their perineal G-spot?

Sat 02-21-09 Do I tell my friend she’s dating a married man?

Sun 02-22-09 How do I tell my husband I’m sexually frustrated without hurting his feelings?

Mon 02-23-09 Would more racial boundaries break if more people dated interacially?

Tue 02-24-09 How do I cope with not trusting my girfriend after catching her with another woman?

Wed 02-25-09 How do I get my boyfriend of 8 yrs to understand my desire to marry him with losing him?

Thu 02-26-09 How do I cope with my boyfriend sending me mixed messages?

Fri 02-27-09 I fell in love with my best friend’s wife. What should I do?

Sat 02-28-09 Each author gets a special question just for him or her.

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3 thoughts on “The 14 Days After Q&A: Do you have to be a freak to enjoy great sex?”

  1. They all gave great answers. I really liked how Big Boom and Tanya White laid it out for us. We tend to forget that sex is sacred, what God created in all of us, but not to lay down with every man to prove we got the goodies they are seeking out. Who wants to be a “one-night stand”, and so many women believing if I am freaky than the next woman…I will take your man. Come on, it is about learning the man inner spirit, not his groins.


  3. That’ a large misconception in men and sadly, in women as well.

    I love sex and hell if I could I would have sex morning noon and night. Women were designed to have great sex whether with or without a man.

    Think about it. All men sexual functions have dual roles, while women have the luxury of a clitoris that serves only one purpose.

    More education is needed in regards to being sexual for men and for women and I think the more you know the better the outlook will be as far as questions like this.

    Great sex is great sex and enjoyed with someon you love and care about, being a freak is just straight up being nasty about great sex with just anyone.

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